As groomers, we get all manner of excuses as to why Fluffy is so matted this time! (Because god knows, she's usually in perfect condition, because she gets brushed every day, and brought to the groomer every single month.... like ALL long haired dogs..... right?)
WRONG!
By far the most common and popular line of bullshit pet parents try to feed their groomer is that "I've been out of town and I left her with..... my Mom, my neighbor, my boyfriend, the pet sitter, the kennel...!" Leaving the implication that dogs are supposed to become a grooming disaster when left in the care of anyone other than their own perfectly responsible pet parent.
Really???
Pet parents are THE WORST at finding care for their own pets. How do I know this? Because the worst grooming nightmares of dogs with homes (not strays) is that Mom and Dad 'went outta town...' and whomever was taking care of their dog was horrible.
90% of all matted dogs brought into the salon come from pet parents who were recently "outta town" and had to leave them with someone.
Now many if not most young and inexperienced groomers will go "Awwww!" and swallow it hook, line, and sinker.
But after 15 years.... human please!!
Not only do you NOT have your dog regularly groomed, I've never seen you before!
And if I have seen you before, it was 6.... 7.... TWELVE months ago!!!
No. No groomer worth their salt believes your excuses. You are not taking proper care of your dog! If you cannot afford to go to a groomer, I completely understand that. But can you afford a brush???
I understand if YOU can't cut your dog's hair! If you don't know what you're doing, YOU SHOULDN'T TRY to cut your dog's hair! But do you know how to use a brush???
"Oh he won't let me brush him!"
Oh.
My.
God.
Let me just say this OUT LOUD, to all y'all's faces.... Because we DO say it behind your back....
Why do you have a dog then?!?!
(Because you LOVE animals and you RESCUED this poor little baby from a HORRIBLE place so that you could LOVE him and give him a better life....)
LISTEN TO YOURSELVES!!!
Why are you not asking everyone you know to help you find a way to learn how to brush your dog! It's so much better to let them get SO MATTED that they have to be shaved, and often get sores and infections and hematomas from tight mats, and from the poor thing digging and chewing trying to relieve the pain! Do you know how painful it is to try to move around when your hair is stuck or caught on something?
Do you know that I've seen the long hair around a sweet little dog's penis matted tightly to the long hair of his thigh so that he couldn't walk? And the dumbass humans laughed because he looked funny trying to do it?
(My blood boils as I write this.......)
Can you believe how completely UNAWARE some human beings are....?
So find another excuse humans!
We do NOT buy the "I've been outta town and left her with...." excuse anymore! Because even if it's true, you're a bad parent! For leaving them with someone who would let them get like that!
And if you must....
I'm gonna give you a FREE chunk of gold here - When you know you're going out of town, GET YOUR DOG GROOMED before you leave!!! Get their hair cut a little shorter so as to avoid catastrophe! Hell, get them shaved down just to be safe! At least it will have grown a bit by the time you get back and their hair will be short because of responsibility, NOT because they were in pain and neglected.
Oh wait....! You in the back there! I hear your pathetic ass! "But I didn't know ahead of time, it was sudden...! waa waaa waaaaaaa!"
I have not one fuck to give you.
The moment you become "a pet parent", you become responsible for every every every single aspect of their lives in this human world you've made them a part of. YOU. You should ALWAYS have a plan of care for your pets!!!
Always.
All the time.
For ALL of your pets, no matter what species, breed, size, condition.
Along the Gulf Coast we remind people every hurricane season to have a plan of action for their pets.
Don't wait for hurricane season.....
Don't be an idiot.
Be responsible.
If you're dog is matted while under your care, YOU are responsible.
If you just legitimately rescued a dog from a bad situation, and that dog is matted as a consequence of that bad situation and you are fixing the dogs condition, then you are excused.
We have lived in so much ignorance until now.
Learn.
There is a way.
You CAN do it.
Find a way, make it happen.
Stop making excuses for not taking care of your pets.
Running to the vet all the time is NOT being responsible.
Running to the groomer in desperation is NOT being responsible.
Is your dog matted right now as you read this? Are you scared now? Embarrassed? Afraid to reach out for fear of being condemned?
Good!
Now take the first step and reach out, beyond your fear and shame, get your dog back to ground zero and don't let it happen again.
If you didn't know before, you do now. Start now.
I will not apologize for calling an idiot an idiot.
If I can help you learn I will.
They bark, the growl, they bite... and you don't understand.
I speak English, and I speak for them.
Dog-Groomer-Black T-shirt at this PG911 approved link!
WRONG!
By far the most common and popular line of bullshit pet parents try to feed their groomer is that "I've been out of town and I left her with..... my Mom, my neighbor, my boyfriend, the pet sitter, the kennel...!" Leaving the implication that dogs are supposed to become a grooming disaster when left in the care of anyone other than their own perfectly responsible pet parent.
Really???
Pet parents are THE WORST at finding care for their own pets. How do I know this? Because the worst grooming nightmares of dogs with homes (not strays) is that Mom and Dad 'went outta town...' and whomever was taking care of their dog was horrible.
90% of all matted dogs brought into the salon come from pet parents who were recently "outta town" and had to leave them with someone.
Now many if not most young and inexperienced groomers will go "Awwww!" and swallow it hook, line, and sinker.
But after 15 years.... human please!!
Not only do you NOT have your dog regularly groomed, I've never seen you before!
And if I have seen you before, it was 6.... 7.... TWELVE months ago!!!
No. No groomer worth their salt believes your excuses. You are not taking proper care of your dog! If you cannot afford to go to a groomer, I completely understand that. But can you afford a brush???
I understand if YOU can't cut your dog's hair! If you don't know what you're doing, YOU SHOULDN'T TRY to cut your dog's hair! But do you know how to use a brush???
"Oh he won't let me brush him!"
Oh.
My.
God.
Let me just say this OUT LOUD, to all y'all's faces.... Because we DO say it behind your back....
Why do you have a dog then?!?!
(Because you LOVE animals and you RESCUED this poor little baby from a HORRIBLE place so that you could LOVE him and give him a better life....)
LISTEN TO YOURSELVES!!!
Why are you not asking everyone you know to help you find a way to learn how to brush your dog! It's so much better to let them get SO MATTED that they have to be shaved, and often get sores and infections and hematomas from tight mats, and from the poor thing digging and chewing trying to relieve the pain! Do you know how painful it is to try to move around when your hair is stuck or caught on something?
Do you know that I've seen the long hair around a sweet little dog's penis matted tightly to the long hair of his thigh so that he couldn't walk? And the dumbass humans laughed because he looked funny trying to do it?
(My blood boils as I write this.......)
Can you believe how completely UNAWARE some human beings are....?
So find another excuse humans!
We do NOT buy the "I've been outta town and left her with...." excuse anymore! Because even if it's true, you're a bad parent! For leaving them with someone who would let them get like that!
And if you must....
I'm gonna give you a FREE chunk of gold here - When you know you're going out of town, GET YOUR DOG GROOMED before you leave!!! Get their hair cut a little shorter so as to avoid catastrophe! Hell, get them shaved down just to be safe! At least it will have grown a bit by the time you get back and their hair will be short because of responsibility, NOT because they were in pain and neglected.
Oh wait....! You in the back there! I hear your pathetic ass! "But I didn't know ahead of time, it was sudden...! waa waaa waaaaaaa!"
I have not one fuck to give you.
The moment you become "a pet parent", you become responsible for every every every single aspect of their lives in this human world you've made them a part of. YOU. You should ALWAYS have a plan of care for your pets!!!
Always.
All the time.
For ALL of your pets, no matter what species, breed, size, condition.
Along the Gulf Coast we remind people every hurricane season to have a plan of action for their pets.
Don't wait for hurricane season.....
Don't be an idiot.
Be responsible.
If you're dog is matted while under your care, YOU are responsible.
If you just legitimately rescued a dog from a bad situation, and that dog is matted as a consequence of that bad situation and you are fixing the dogs condition, then you are excused.
We have lived in so much ignorance until now.
Learn.
There is a way.
You CAN do it.
Find a way, make it happen.
Stop making excuses for not taking care of your pets.
Running to the vet all the time is NOT being responsible.
Running to the groomer in desperation is NOT being responsible.
Is your dog matted right now as you read this? Are you scared now? Embarrassed? Afraid to reach out for fear of being condemned?
Good!
Now take the first step and reach out, beyond your fear and shame, get your dog back to ground zero and don't let it happen again.
If you didn't know before, you do now. Start now.
I will not apologize for calling an idiot an idiot.
If I can help you learn I will.
They bark, the growl, they bite... and you don't understand.
I speak English, and I speak for them.
Dog-Groomer-Black T-shirt at this PG911 approved link!
